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Your Questions About How To Discover New Things

Ken asks…

Why do I desperatly need sympathy or an apology from my childhood abusers?

My name is Maria and I’m an 18 year old student. When I think about the child Mia (the old me), I constantly cry. It’s hard to believe that she was once me. When I think about her or look at the old pictures of this ignored, scared child, it just looks like I died as a child. It looks like she died alone and I cry about it.
I’ve been so scared as a child. That is the only emotion that I could remember. I had memorable happy/calm moments during my childhood but they typically occurred when I was alone and discovered things about this world and about life. I was emotionally and ESPECIALLY physically abused for 18 years by my parents and foster parents. I was sexually abused (raped and molested) by my older brother for 11 years. I was harassed by people in my area for most of my childhood due to my nationality. I was always bullied at school and I never had or made any friends due to my nationality. I experiences racism, prejudice and discrimination by people who were not part of my family or community. I experienced sexual and physical abuse by members of my parent’s cult/community for 18 years. Despite all of my mistreatment that I experienced by individuals around me, I was always a people pleaser or a doormat. People used me and I knew that but it was good enough for me because I thought it was the only love that I could receive at this time. At least people are not ignoring me when they ask me to do something for them. I was always alone because kids and adults always thought I was not normal due to my abnormal behavior that was connected with my disorders but they sure did hurt me. I never had friends except my imaginary friends who constantly tell me to leave but overall, they were the only ones who truly loved me. No matter how much people hurt me, I always smiled and laughed, I never cried. I became anyone’s doormat because I hoped that maybe someone might love me or at least not hurt me anymore. I was so hurt, scared and lost when I was a child. I never stood up for myself or raised my voice, I just let people walk over me because I thought being nice would be the only way for me to gain love or respect but I received the opposite. I was so dead but acted so alive. It makes me angry!
The people who abused me (my family) constantly deny every abuse, I’m somehow ‘complaining’ or taking things out of context. I constantly try to make them apologize, I am desperate for their apology or sympathy. I just want them to understand how much I was hurt as a child or how lonely I felt, I just want them to feel bad but they DON’T UNDERSTAND!! WHY?!! WHY CAN’T THEY SYMPATHIZE OR AT LEAST RECOGNIZE MY PAIN?!! I have Depression, Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anorexia Nervosa, and Schizophrenia. I am constantly suicidal. My parents tell me that I’m possessed by the devil due to my past ‘actions’; they are basically telling me that I caused all of this but IT’S THEM WHO CAUSED ALL OF MY DISORDERS! They only hurt me, never protected or loved me when I was a child. They were the ones who killed me when I was a child. They either deny or minimizing my issues. How do you think how I feel now? Why are they doing this to me? By them denying or minimizing my past makes me feel much worse, I would rather be abused by them again. I feel so crushed. I just want my past bullies or abusers to apologize or recognize how much pain I am currently in. This happened years ago but I cannot let this go, I just can’t. I remember it every day. Why do people hurt children? I don’t understand why people hurt others… I’m always crying because I just don’t understand what I have done to deserve any of this. I feel like I’m doing something wrong.

New Niche Finder answers:

Hi. Although I have not experienced anything near as terrible as you, I do know how it feels to ‘need’ people to admit their wrong doing, or to say theyre sorry. I have felt like punching them and screaming at them how much they hurt me. In my life though, I was never able to do this. For around 10 years I felt if only I could get them to feel my pain, then I would have closure and could move on. But I never got that chance. And even when I tried, they acted like I was the one who was crazy or deluded.

These people who hurt others cannot even for one second let themselves admit their wrong doing. They know that if they really took a good look at themselves, that they would die from the pain of it. Their hearts have become hardened. They hang around with others who are like them in order to justify their behaviour.

You are perfectly normal. I want you to know that you have been put on this earth as a beacon. You are a shining light in the darkness. A rose growing from the cracks in the pavement. You are perfect and whole just as you are. You know it. You were born a shining diamond, but people who were around you, who felt hatred towards themselves, directed their hatred towards you. You were always so nice and they couldnt stand it as it only showed them how bad they were in comparison. They threw their dirt onto you and covered up the diamond. Now it is time to break away. Shed that dirt of theirs that does not belong to you. It was never yours. All the abuse, lies, betrayal, it was never yours. It was theirs and now you can let your diamond shine.

You are loved. I dont know if you are religious, am I am not. But I do beleive we come to this earth for a purpose and yours was to survuve this and live to learn from it, You see, when someone has experienced this amount of hurt, they are capable of giving so much love. I know it might sound odd, but its true. Out of the storm comes sunshine. I suggest you feel sorry for those people who hurt you as they must be miserable inside. And I would focus on doing good things for people as this is the best way to heal a broken heart. You are suffering from all these things including schizophrenia because your heart is shattered and it now needs to come back together. Volunteer or work in a caring capacity. Love yourself because you are perfect, you are wholly loved. Caring for others will allow your heart to feel love. The flow of love through your heart will mend it. It may take years but it will happen.

Daniel asks…

What are some good songs about discovering things?

I’m creating a senior valedictory video and I need background music (a song, of course). The video also needs to consist of a theme – mine being “discovery.” But there is just one problem – I seriously cannot think of ANY song that would fit the theme of my video. Please help me out and suggest some current/popular/well-known songs that would go along the lines of discovering or finding things in life.
Thanks! (:

New Niche Finder answers:

Reflection by Christina Aguilera is good. It talks about discovering who your true self is, and its perfect

Lizzie asks…

Gender and sexuality studies in relation to science. Please help me figure out how to combine them!?

I love science and would love to have it geared at a specific topic of study
i love biochemistry and neuroscience the most
Is there a way i can use science to study things such as gender, sex and sexuality
Maybe genetics? Idk
I want to take courses and have a job that involves science but science that reveals or works to discover things about gender and sexuality
so think more in terms of genes or brain chemistry rather than psychology or sociology

please and thank you!

New Niche Finder answers:

Endocrinology might be the right field of study, but you will need to combine biology and medicine to do this.

Sharon asks…

Gender and sexuality studies in relation to science. Please help me figure out how to combine them!?

I love science and would love to have it geared at a specific topic of study
i love biochemistry and neuroscience the most
Is there a way i can use science to study things such as gender, sex and sexuality
Maybe genetics? Idk
I want to take courses and have a job that involves science but science that reveals or works to discover things about gender and sexuality
so think more in terms of genes or brain chemistry rather than psychology or sociology

please and thank you!

New Niche Finder answers:

It is possible to combine neuroscience with psychology through psychiatry, but the links established up to date are very weak, and we are still largely in the blue as to the relationship between the subjective mind and objective neuronal processes in the brain.

I would advise psychiatry, possibly even evolutionary psychology given your clear leaning towards social studies.

Maria asks…

Spiritually speaking, can you name an example of a scam?

The Merriam-Webster definition of scam:
” a fraudulent or deceptive act or operation”

I’m thinking maybe there is no scam in spirituality, since in a way, you can always get something out of any belief system. Most people grow and discover things about themselves when they do what is good. All good things come from a higher source. Do you agree, or are there scams present in the religion & spirituality world?

New Niche Finder answers:

True, but when someone offers salvation and it is deceptive because they have no evidence they can offer it (and especially when it turns out not ot be available in the afterlife) it then falls back into the realm of scam.

Now am I against these scammers (religion) no, as long as the individual giving to it accepts the terms. The problem with religion and its scam is that there are many people who don’t agree, but they force their scam onto people through laws or killing people for not accepting the terms. That is where I draw the line.

And yes, there are secular things that are scams too. The atheist group offering post-rapture pet care is obviously a scam, but hey, if the people agree to the terms, thats fine, its not being forced on them and the group isn’t the one decieving the “victims” telling them that the rapture is going to happen.

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